Part 2: A Letter for Self- Care in the First Trimester
Continuing the self-care discussion, you may be thinking at this point, "I have tons of time to consider where I want to give birth or sign up for classes about childbirth education, selecting my providers" and more... but this pregnancy will go faster than you realize! I know that’s hard to believe right now in the early weeks. When you consider that wait times are longer than normal, access to care is challenged in these times and with that, options and informed consent for expectant parents may be limited in some situations.
You can use this time to reach out to a trusted source whether it be a Doula a Childbirth Educator or Midwife. Word of mouth is extremely helpful in finding reputable and trustworthy sources in your local community. Many Doulas will happily refer you for the kind of resources you may be looking for. You can find a Doula on a regular Google search or many Facebook groups sites in your area by doing a search for your city and birth workers or a similar support group. Most private doulas and midwives do have a website. Another option is to think about joining a support group, it might not seem like it but a prenatal yoga class is a wonderful way to start. Partners are usually invited and these classes are calming gentle and slow to help promote mindfulness and connection to body and baby. Breathing is an essential part of this and is a very grounding spiritual experience throughout your pregnancy that I encourage you to make time for. They will usually have lots of wellness resources to connect you with as well so use this as an opportunity to get to know your community better and what’s around you.
The library is another great resource, usually they have a pretty robust section of books but you can check out and see if they’re offering any local classes as well. If you don’t see what you’re looking for, ask! It can feel daunting at this point there’s so much information so much advice we are flooded with data and media opinions. Go slow, build on what you already know, continue to take care of yourself in healthy ways and if you’re not sure how to do that there are many people in your community waiting to help you. Check out my RESOURCES page for listings in the Seguin/New Braunfels area.
- Mental resilience is getting a lot of attention these days and there’s a good reason. Modern living is stressful I won’t sugarcoat this, there are countless Ted talks, trainings, podcast and resources dedicated to this topic and so I will touch on just a few here. I recommend these podcasts; Happy as a Mother, Birthful, and Evidence Based Childbirth (links to these are on my RESOURCES page). Birthful is a great start for an overview of topics related to pregnancy and childbirth and beyond. Happy as a Mother focuses a lot on mental health resilience as a pregnant and newly postpartum parents. Evidence-Based Birth has become a favorite among the Doula and Childbirth Educator community. If you take one thing away from this reading, it’s that I hope you set a goal for your mental health every week and make it a daily priority.
-It could be allowing yourself a 30 minute walk at the end of the day, it could be making time to connect with a friend or a loved one over the phone. It can be seeking out a mental health specialist in your area. Many times spiritual providers such as pastors and religious organizations offer this type of service. Maybe it’s making time for a hobby that lets you clear your mind, connect with yourself and build space into your hectic routine. Ideally it would be all of these!! The more you practice this the more second nature it will become. The key to practicing these things is not utilizing them when you’re already in a stressful state but to learn to utilize them in every day life so that when the stress does arise we have go-to coping skills that help us along the way. Personally I love making time to journal. Checking in to meditate while using the calm app is another favorite. For those looking for a more fertility/pregnancy focused meditation check out Circle + Bloom. They have a phenomenal library of content. It is more expensive but I guarantee you will love it!
-Emotional/Social. Be mindful of your day. Take note of what fills you up and what takes away from your energy. Learn to mindfully acknowledge those interactions in favor of those that fill you up. Remember you have permission, you are supporting a young new life, no explanations needed. A simple no thank you that doesn’t work for me, thank you for considering me perhaps another time, I’ll have to get back to you etc. are wonderful ways to address your personal limits and boundaries. For me, pregnancy was one of the first times I explored this concept. Added to the fact that as a military member, and a competitive, outgoing, independent, driven person, I didn’t understand the word slow. If that resonates with you take heart. Pace yourself, use this time to recognize which expectations are serving you, and distinguish against those that don't. We know this by many social idioms, "Don't sweat the small stuff!" "Let it go!" and reminders that "you can't please everyone" "put on your own oxygen mask first". That couldn't be more true now.
-Partners can be involved in all of these aspects. From meal planning, gentle reminders to go rest, slow down, or rethink certain stressors. Partners have the most important job of all, taking care of mom. This can't be understated. You might enjoy the Dad Bros podcast, where the shared experience of parenting and adulting becomes a comedic release. This is an opportunity to be mindful of your family time, and choices. Perhaps the all night video gaming isn't going to support a family environment, that doesn't mean you can't play anymore, it just means you may have to schedule certain times so you and your partner can both bring your full selves to the moment. Every household is different, so there are many ways to creatively approach the transition to parenting. I rave about Eve Rodsky's book Fair Play. This is a practical and useable gamified way to visually depict household responsibilities, maybe you can initiate this in your home!?
Many of the suggestions listed previously incorporate emotional and social elements as well. Whatever you align with, is what counts. You don't have to do any of those suggestions, it’s just a starting point. Trial and error, seeing what fits and what doesn't. I hope you were able to take away some helpful tips, and hear the importance of making time for yourself for the benefit of not only you but your pregnancy and baby. Best of luck for the remainder of your first trimester and pregnancy!